Babaji and the Delicate Yoga of Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth

At the foothills of the Himalayas, in the holy city of Haridwar, where once Lord Vishnu himself is said to have left his footprints, now sits – no man, but – a god, the Indian god of godman capitalism, Baba Ramdev, perfecting the delicate yoga of putting his godly foot in his godly mouth. Baba has once again found himself in the middle of a controversy owing to his foot-in-mouth remarks about allopathy and allopathic practitioners.

A video has recently come up in which Baba says, “People are looking for cylinders outside while God has given you two cylinders right here (pointing to his lungs) inside you. Use them, fool!” As if this mockery of COVID patients was not enough, Baba went on to mock the entire practice of allopathy claiming that tens of thousands died of COVID after taking modern medicines. He also declared, unsubstantiated of course, that 10,000 doctors in India have died even after both doses of the coronavirus vaccine.

These loose-lipped declarations led to Indian Medical Association filing a police complaint against him. The furore among the medical professionals even pushed the Health Minister Harsh Vardhan – who seems to not always remember it about himself, but is a professional doctor of allopathy himself – to rebuke Ramdev. Baba then quickly withdrew his statements. Such anti-scientific, anti-logic claims are nothing new to him. These seem to come in waves and coincide with the ever-recurrent waves of COVID.

Last year, in June, much before Pfizer and Moderna had started their Phase II trials, Baba launched his “Coronil“, a mixture of herbs, which, he claims, can cure COVID. The marketing of the product as a cure for Coronavirus had to be stopped after the government said there was no data to show it actually cured people; however, the government didn’t ban it, and, with its infallible CEO mindset, suggested it could be sold as an “immunity booster“. Despite the lack of any verifiable data to its credit, Coronil has won the unconditional support of the BJP led government. In February, the Health Minister attended an event with Ramdev where claims about Coronil being the cure for COVID were reiterated. The government of Haryana recently declared that they would be distributing 1 lakh Coronil kits to COVID patients in the state.

Also, who can forget Baba Ramdev‘s legendary prescription of nasally injected mustard oil against the Coronavirus? (The genius of this technique is that mustard oil supposedly pushes down the virus from your nose to your guts, where it is to drown in acids and suffer the most wretched death a wicked virus like that deserves). Baba, no doubt, has bettered all medical sciences time and again. He made people with oxygen levels below 80 do Anulom-Vilom and showed a recovery in levels upto 98. Now especially after such dazzling success why this pranayam has been named that and not Corona-Marona, I do not know.

Acharya Balkrishna, aide and presumed heir to Baba’s bowel-billowing legacy, came out to his patron’s defence against the savage allopaths. “As part of the conspiracy to convert the entire country into Christianity, Yoga and Ayurveda are being maligned by targeting Ramdev Jee,” he said, poignantly. He should know better, as he has seen this up close; Balkrishna had been admitted to AIIMS, Rishikesh because of chest problems. He should know better, as he has previously suffered treatment under such wicked allopaths.

Amidst such vicious attacks from all sides, Baba and his protégé have been valiant and unyielding. He may have retracted his earlier statement, but Baba Ramdev has raised twenty-five most challenging questions on the efficacy of modern medicine ever faced by allopathy. Now the onus is on science to prove its scientificity. Yes, that’ll show them!

As a blatant display of their cretinism, the doctors took no notice of it whatsoever. Instead, the Delhi Medical Association filed a police complaint against Babaji. The Uttarakhand chapter of IMA, adding insult to injury, has filed a ₹ 1000 crore defamation case against him. It will be interesting to see how Baba Ramdev tackles this blunder.

But one thing is certain that he will emerge out of this. The only possible contingency is that he might unintentionally quadruple Patanjali‘s revenues, but he will emerge, and emerge victorious out of all this, for the Indian god of godman capitalism has to reign supreme, and put his godly foot in his godly mouth again.

Umar Farooque Shaikh is a student pursuing English Literature from Jamia Millia Islamia.

Edited by: Varda Ahmad

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of The Jamia Review or its members.